Yule see

You’ll never get it into the house

You’ll have to take the door off

You’ll have to trim the top of it down

You’ll need a metre or more off

You’ll tell me, I know, we both agreed

To give a real tree a try-out

You’ll cause a damage with that bloomin’ thing

You’ll have somebody’s eye out!

You’ll have to keep on top of it

You’ll have no time for slacking

You’ll have needles dropping all over the place

You’ll be forever vaccing

You’ll need more than enough of those bauble-y things

You’ll need tons of decorations

You’ll need more lights and LED’s

Than Blackpool illuminations

You’ll need two tons of prezzies to go round the base

You’ll have to get started on wrapping

You’ll need trinkets and tinsel and sweeties and glitter

You’ll spend fortunes on Christmassy trappings

You’ll need a new star to go on the top

You’ll have to replace the old ‘un

You’ll have seen when you took it from out of its box

It’s more mildewed than shiny and golden

You’ll ignore my advice – I just know it

You’ll think I’m a silly old fool

But that tree is huge – I agree with old Scrooge

Bah! Humbug! to you and your Yule!

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