When the milkman comes

Melanie McMillan with her melancholy melons;

Pretty Penny Price with her pert, pink plums;

Frugal Phylis Flocket with her notepad in her pocket,

All waiting on a Wednesday for when the milkman comes.

Melanie’s a testament to crisps and coke and chocolate cake,

Her bosom is enormous and she’s several people’s bums

But she contemplates her chances

Of securing lustful glances

And encouraging advances

When the milkman comes.

Penny pouts and puckers in her see-through lacy lingerie

(She goes along each Monday to “hips and thighs and tums”)

Her figure is curvaceous,

Seductive and salacious;

She’ll be sexy and audacious

When the milkman comes.

Phylis takes her notepad and she worries through the pages;

Tots up every penny and then calculates the sums.

She’s cut back every way she can;

Panics when she hears his van;

Wonders how she’ll pay the man

When the milkman comes.

Melanie with gaping gown prepares to be alluring

(She’s sucked away the cocoa stains and dusted cake-y crumbs)

Bends forward as she proffers cash -

See those blubber bosoms flash!

“I’m late,” he says, “I’ll have to dash.”

When the milkman comes.

Penny, trepidacious, hears his van approaching

With sweaty palms, she’s fingers and she’s thumbs!

Tears up the sexy note she wrote;

Answers in her buttoned coat;

Covered up from knees to throat

When the milkman comes.

Phylis on the WELCOME mat puts forth her proposition.

He “hums” and “hars” uncertainly but finally succumbs.

And so, upon reflection,

His fortnightly collection

Takes on quite a new complexion

When the milkman comes.

Melancholy Melanie finds comfort in a chocolate cake;

Pretty pouting Penny Price sends selfies to her chums;

But it’s frugal Phylis Flocket

Has the milkman in her pocket

Every other Wednesday

When the milkman comes.

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