tick-box bureaucrats

We are the tick-box bureaucrats. You WILL do as we say

For WE’re in charge of Quality - and WE control your pay.

When we say, “Jump!” you ask, “How high?” - You will not question, “Why?”

You never can leap high enough, however hard you try.

We’ll raise the bar and raise the bar and raise the bar again,

Increase the paper audit trail by a multiple of ten -

And when you think you’ve got the hang of what it is you do

We’ll cut back your department so you do the work of two.

Although we’ve never actually performed the job in question

WE are in charge of Quality – Don’t bother with suggestions

We don’t care for “improvements”, we don’t like “innovation”

So don’t go getting big “ideas” that are above your station.

WE are the ones who’ve made it; you could say we’re “celebs”

YOU are the ones who do the work; you’re just a bunch of “plebs”

Our jackboots click through corridors; our forte is inspection.

We’ve pasted on our smarmy smiles to deflect your insurrection.

You know we haven’t got a clue; we know you think we’re prats,

But WE’re the ones in power – the tick-box bureaucrats.

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