scrunchies and wormholes

We tried to sew a scrunchy

but it required turning a doughnut inside out

through a hole in the space-time continuum



is not as easy as you might at first think.

In the absence of Stephen Hawking

(he’s good at that kind of thing -

not scrunchies


(and Brian Cox was at a photo-shoot)

we settled instead for finger-knitting –

well, finger-unravelling to be precise,

which is not quite so productive.

I thought we might try marquetry

or constructing a half-size model of the Parthenon

using matchsticks

but neither of us smoke

and my gas-rings light automatically.

Still feeling craftily-bent (as it were)

I suggested a Mobius strip

“Oh!” she said, “Just one thing on your mind!”

thus confining a whole gender’s-worth of variety

into a single pigeon-sized cavity.

Scissors are blunt anyway.

So we ended up watching telly:

Jeremy Kyle emigrating to Australia

with a shed-load of antiques.

I must confess

I wasn’t really listening

I was still mentally manipulating that scrunchy through a wormhole.

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