We tried to sew a scrunchy
but it required turning a doughnut inside out
through a hole in the space-time continuum
is not as easy as you might at first think.
In the absence of Stephen Hawking
(he’s good at that kind of thing -
(and Brian Cox was at a photo-shoot)
we settled instead for finger-knitting –
well, finger-unravelling to be precise,
which is not quite so productive.
I thought we might try marquetry
or constructing a half-size model of the Parthenon
but neither of us smoke
and my gas-rings light automatically.
Still feeling craftily-bent (as it were)
I suggested a Mobius strip
“Oh!” she said, “Just one thing on your mind!”
thus confining a whole gender’s-worth of variety
into a single pigeon-sized cavity.
Scissors are blunt anyway.
So we ended up watching telly:
Jeremy Kyle emigrating to Australia
with a shed-load of antiques.
I must confess
I wasn’t really listening
I was still mentally manipulating that scrunchy through a wormhole.