Now this may sound fantastic
But there’s different types of plastic
It takes mental gymnastics
To work out what goes where

And if you guess the class
Of the plastics – then there’s glass
Sorting that can be a farce
It makes you swear

Then there’s paper and there’s card
Sorting that can’t be so hard
But corrugated card is barred
It’s just too much to bear

As for milk-cartons – it’s Yes
At least, that’s my best guess
Though I could be in a mess
Oh – do I really care?!

There was a time I was so keen
I was brilliant emerald green
Of the ecological scene
I was the master

I can see that you’re now curious
What is it makes me furious?
It was an incident injurious
A veritable personal disaster

You see, my neighbour had this freezer
I took it to the tip to please ‘er
Asked a hi-vis coated geezer
He couldn’t have looked smugger

He was happy to advise me
Stand around and supervise me
But why didn’t he surprise me
And help me lift the bugger!

But since his help was lacking
I strained and did my back in
Waste operatives need sacking
They’re just taking the Michael

Now I’m not one to complain
But recycling is a pain
Tho’ it goes against the grain
I’ll just dump stuff in the drain
My reasoning is plain
It’s my back that’s took the strain
It’s more than just a sprain
It’s driving me insane
Unless the council fits a crane
You’ll be asking me in vain
If I have to go again
It’s me they’re gonna need to recycle.

recycle me

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