Description

Policeman's song

When a copper’s not involved in doing deskwork (doing deskwork)

He’d love to be a-pounding on his beat (on his beat)

Traditionally putting in the legwork (in the legwork)

Waving cheery 'Hellos' on the street (on the street)



Instead of which he fills out form A7 (form A7)

Transcribing daily orders word by word (word by word)

Then on to forms 8, 9, 10 and 11 (up to twenty!)

The amount of paper really is absurd.



Sooo - although he’d like to get on solving crime, solving crime,

It’s the filling out of forms which takes his time.



When you ring up 999 you’ll get an answer (get an answer)

And it comes within 5 seconds of your call (of your call)

But as you wait with bated breath, pulse racing, (your pulse racing)

You’ll realise it’s not a cop at all: (cop at all)



Your call to us is really quite important (so important)

We’d love to help you any way we can (way we can)

But though we’re here to save, support and serve you (we will serve you)

We guarantee we’re busy to a man (and a woman)



Sooo - although we’d like to get on solving crime, solving crime,

It’s the filling out of forms which takes our time.



So press 1 if you’ve been raped or 2 for murder (2 for murder)

Press 3 if someone’s life is on the line (on the line)

If you’re just being bludgeoned, mugged or burgled (mugged or burgled)

Then could you ring tomorrow after nine? (after nine)



For all other queries could you please be patient, (please be patient)

We know it’s reassurance that you seek (that you seek)

We’ll be sending you a photocopied letter (copied letter)

But sadly not ‘til Wednesday of next week.



Sooo - although we’d like to get on solving crime, solving crime,

It’s the filling out of forms which takes our time (takes our time)


Based loosely on 'The Policeman's Song' from 'The Pirates of Penzance' by Gilbert & Sullivan.
$SIGNUP$
$VALIDATION$
Working... Please wait