As a twin, I’ve never been just one;
I was always half of a pair.
“Like peas in a pod!” passers-by would exclaim,
“You’ll have your work cut out there.”

Identical jumpers, identical shirts,
Identical shorts, shoes and socks,
Identical cute, turned-up noses,
Identical curly, blond locks.

Identical presents at Christmas
So we knew we were both loved the same.
When Kerplunk marbles vanished and Lego got lost
We equally shouldered the blame.

I remember one day in primary school -
The effusive Mrs Binns.
“Every one of you is unique!” she proclaimed,
“Except, of course, the twins.”

“Ha ha ha! How funny! How droll.”
We all joined in to laugh -
But deep down inside a part of me cried,
“I don’t want to be just a half!”

Identical subjects at high school;
A sausage machine of same classes.
Identical nerves as we faced the exams.
Identical failures and passes.

We made friends at the pub and the badminton club
And some lasses we met at the gym,
But a niggling doubt tried to gnaw its way out -
Was it me they admired – or him?

I tried to make my choices distinct;
To be different my primary aim.
But however bizarre I endeavoured to be,
He undoubtedly chose just the same.

And now that I’m facing a life on my own
You may think my future looks bleak
But, you see, I had to poison him
So that I could be unique.

They’ve diagnosed schizophrenia
They think my mind’s coming undone
How wrong can they be? Oh, why can’t they see?
At last – at last – I am one.


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