Marmite’s rich in vitamin B
(Better than a vitamin pill)
But he’s not really bothered ‘cos he just likesthe taste -
My mate – Marmite Bill.

Some think it tastes quite heavenly,
Some think it tastes like swill -
But don’t say that in the hearing
Of my mate – Marmite Bill.

It gives some people the shudders,
It gives others quite a thrill.
In the latter of those two camps you’ll find
My mate – Marmite Bill.

Some folk give it 10 out of 10.
Some folk give it nil.
“But I give it 110%”
Says my mate – Marmite Bill.

You get quite a lot in a pot-bellied pot,
Enough to have your fill -
But it won’t put to flight the appetite
Of my mate – Marmite Bill.

You can clump it on in dollops
Or spread it with culinary skill.
“It’s an art-form to develop,”
Says my mate – Marmite Bill.

Many people spread it on crispbread
Or toast that’s hot from the grill -
But who else puts it on porridge (!)
Like my mate – Marmite Bill.

In fact he’s quite fanatical;
Insists that it’s God’s will
That we eat Marmite with everything!
That’s my mate – Marmite Bill.

So I don’t invite him for lunch any more
Or for dinner, to eat his fill.
It’s not so much fun cooking meals for one –
But I’ve saved on my Marmite bill!

My mate Bill

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