If I had to be a metal by choice

(Heaven knows how that choice might arise!)

I wouldn’t be platinum, silver or gold

Does that fill you perhaps with surprise?

For though they’re so noble they’re oh so aloof,

With class and with accent so plummy.

Perhaps I’d consider a metal more base

Or something a little more chummy.

Iron ’s reliable, solid and strong,

Dependable, sturdy and steely

But lacking emotional intelligence -

I need something more “touchy and feely.”

Lead plumbs the depths of thought philosophical;

Ponderous, thoughtful and deep.

Not sure about nickel, it sounds insubstantial

To be honest, it sounds rather cheap.

I certainly don’t want to be big, loud and brassy;

I might settle for chrome (it’s a little more classy).

Zinc sounds so common – zirconium exotic -

Whereas tungsten and tantalum sound quite erotic.

Rubidium, calcium, cobalt, magnesium,

Molybdenum, cadmium, copper and caesium

So many to pick from – I’m spoilt for choice -

But in which of the metals could I truly rejoice?

The trouble with metal - it all sounds so static;

I want to be fluid - on that I’m emphatic.

Radium dissipates (I find that quite curious)

If I faded away like that I’d be furious!

So which of the metals is creative, quick-witted?

With the freedom to run about free?

Though you may think I’m mad as a hatter

(Does it matter?)

It’s mercury I’d be!

Working... Please wait