If I had to be a metal by choice
(Heaven knows how that choice might arise!)
I wouldn’t be platinum, silver or gold
Does that fill you perhaps with surprise?
For though they’re so noble they’re oh so aloof,
With class and with accent so plummy.
Perhaps I’d consider a metal more base
Or something a little more chummy.
Iron ’s reliable, solid and strong,
Dependable, sturdy and steely
But lacking emotional intelligence -
I need something more “touchy and feely.”
Lead plumbs the depths of thought philosophical;
Ponderous, thoughtful and deep.
Not sure about nickel, it sounds insubstantial
To be honest, it sounds rather cheap.
I certainly don’t want to be big, loud and brassy;
I might settle for chrome (it’s a little more classy).
Zinc sounds so common – zirconium exotic -
Whereas tungsten and tantalum sound quite erotic.
Rubidium, calcium, cobalt, magnesium,
Molybdenum, cadmium, copper and caesium
So many to pick from – I’m spoilt for choice -
But in which of the metals could I truly rejoice?
The trouble with metal - it all sounds so static;
I want to be fluid - on that I’m emphatic.
Radium dissipates (I find that quite curious)
If I faded away like that I’d be furious!
So which of the metals is creative, quick-witted?
With the freedom to run about free?
Though you may think I’m mad as a hatter
(Does it matter?)
It’s mercury I’d be!