Language rules

Rules of language. Here’s a few

things you should and shouldn’t do.

Put an I before an E

(Unless that thing to do with C).

Then when you end a word with S

Put an apostrophe - unless

You work in a grocers, that’s the rule.

(I’m sure that’s what I learned in school.)

And when you’re writing speaking lines

Put sixty-sixes and ninety-nines.

To make sure that you don’t confuse ‘em,

That’s the order when you use ‘em.

Now “you and I” and “you and me”

Can get confusing (you’ll agree)

Remember: “I’s at the front and me’s at the ending”

(I don’t understand it, there’s no use pretending.)

You and I are the subjects when we’re the front two

But apparently we’re objects when we’re done to.

My teacher said, To get it right, you and me should really try

‘Cos if we do not right it write they’ll laugh at you and I.

And then there’s where and wear and ware and weir and were and we’re

And then there’s also there and their and they’re and here and hear

It could be quite confusing to get them all just so,

But I say, “Spell ‘em how you like! Who else is gonna know?”

I’d like to learn you all these rules (although they’re not exciting)

But if, like me, you keep them all - you’ll do much better writing.

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