KIDS - WHO'D 'ave 'em?

There’s clothes upon the bedroom floor
There’s bike parts in the hall
There’s dart holes in the back of your door
There’s pizza on the wall!

You never do the washing up
You never dry the pots
There’s splodges on the mirror
Where you squeeze your bleedin’ spots

The whingeing and the whining,
The moaning and complaint
“That isn’t yours, it’s mine”
“Oh yes it is!” – “Oh no it aint!”

For once can you just stop your noise
I need some peace and quiet
Living in this household
Is like living in a riot!

There’s ferrying you back and forth
From here to there to where?!
Is it any wonder
That I’m losing all my hair

You never ever walk the dog
You never clean the rabbit
You leave the plughole clogged with hair
It’s such a filthy habit

You stay out with your mates ‘til late
You say you’re having fun
But where on earth did you unearth
A full-sized plastic nun!

You never do your practice
Your homework’s rarely seen
And as for the state of your underwear
Well – you know what I mean

You say I moan and grumble
But I’ll tell you this for free –
This family would be ideal
If there was only ME!

You say I’ll miss you when you’ve grown
And flown the family nest
I will, dare say, but ‘til that day
Just tidy up your mess!
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