I saw you standing by the bar
And thought I’d half a chance.
Asked if you’d let me buy a drink
Or maybe we could dance?
You said your name began with J
But said I’d have to guess.
Is it Jane or Jean or Joan or June?
Could it possibly be Jess?
Judy? Jodie? Joni? Jade?
Jessica? Jan? Justine?
Julie? Jasmine? Jaime? Joyce?
Jennifer? Jill? Joleen?
Jacqueline? Jezebel? Julianne? Joy?
Through the names I sped
But each and every guess I took
Just made you shake your head.
Jeannie? Jordan? Juliet? Jacky?
Josephine? Jewel? Jenny?
Josie? Joanne? Judith? Janice?
I never knew there were so many.
Aha, I thought, this is a trick
“Juanita!” then I cried.
Again you shook your pretty curls.
I just curled up and died.
I would never have guessed at … Jonathan
Now the cat is out of the bag!
You’re not a bleeding woman at all -
You’re a bloke done up in drag!