Lies in wait
When I BANG THE GLASS!
Can’t be arsed
We’ll see about that
I hang out fat-balls, scatter nuts
Attract the starlings - greedy guts!
Frantic, flapping, squawking fits
But now and then a pair of tits
Flash their blue and yellow bits
And once or twice a perky robin
Comes bob-bob-bobbing along
Calm upon my garden seat
I watch my feathered friends compete
Flittering the light fantastic
Oscine aerial gymnastics
Flap and flutter, flick and peck
Eyes alert on danger check
But then a squawk of consternation
Fluttering flap evacuation
Leaving fat balls wild in flight
Not a single bird in sight …
Just that big
My sensibilities irking
This time I’m ready
I’ve practised ‘til my aim is steady
My weapon is to hand already
AND SUDDENLY I SHOOT
See the feline whine and wince
Jump from wall to bin to fence
I shoot again: there’s no pretence
I want to get that cat!
“But you’re so cruel to that poor kitty!”
“Do me a favour – spare the pity!
I want to frighten, not to hurt ‘er
As I pump my Fairy liquid squirter
Drench that ginger cat with water
Teach ‘er that she didn’t oughta
Try to catch my birds.”
So what do you think to that?
Soaking, ginger cat.