If I was a fruit I’d not be an apple
Though I do like the crisp and the crunch,
And I’d not be a grape – I’m too vain for that -
Don’t want to be one of a bunch.
Lemons and limes and citrus-type fruits
Make your ears laugh - they’re juicy and tangy -
But they can make you cry if they squirt in your eye;
They’re better with something meringue-y.
Peaches and plums take so long to ripen
It’s as well if you’re not in a rush -
Then (don’t ask me why) in the blink of an eye
They turn to a handful of mush.
Raspberries squish and strawberries squash
They’re tasty but oh so ephemeral
And the prices they charge are way over the top.
I’m surprised if ever they sell 'em all.
So what should I be? What would you likely choose?
What fruit would you cherish and treasure?
What would delight you? What would excite you?
What bring you the maximum pleasure?
Would you fancy a date? Or a handful of nuts?
An apricot, greengage or guava?
Answer me straight with no ifs or buts
I could be a lychee if you’d rather.
If I was a paw-paw would you crave more-more?
Please tell me – excuse my bravado –
I could be a berry, a quince or a cherry
A passion fruit or avocado
I know you wouldn’t stand messing about
If you had to peel me or pip me,
So I think I’ll just be a banana
And let you be the one to unzip me!