Let's get fruity

If I was a fruit I’d not be an apple

Though I do like the crisp and the crunch,

And I’d not be a grape – I’m too vain for that -

Don’t want to be one of a bunch.

Lemons and limes and citrus-type fruits

Make your ears laugh - they’re juicy and tangy -

But they can make you cry if they squirt in your eye;

They’re better with something meringue-y.

Peaches and plums take so long to ripen

It’s as well if you’re not in a rush -

Then (don’t ask me why) in the blink of an eye

They turn to a handful of mush.

Raspberries squish and strawberries squash

They’re tasty but oh so ephemeral

And the prices they charge are way over the top.

I’m surprised if ever they sell 'em all.

So what should I be? What would you likely choose?

What fruit would you cherish and treasure?

What would delight you? What would excite you?

What bring you the maximum pleasure?

Would you fancy a date? Or a handful of nuts?

An apricot, greengage or guava?

Answer me straight with no ifs or buts

I could be a lychee if you’d rather.

If I was a paw-paw would you crave more-more?

Please tell me – excuse my bravado –

I could be a berry, a quince or a cherry

A passion fruit or avocado

I know you wouldn’t stand messing about

If you had to peel me or pip me,

So I think I’ll just be a banana

And let you be the one to unzip me!

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